Its been 11 years and two days since you left, I can't even imagine its been over a decade... Time runs so fast and so did our lives. If you'll ask us how are we, were fine, I know that's what you want anyways. I often think of the thought of living a life a with you, I know for sure it'll be wonderful.. we will be happy. There are many what ifs that dwell in my minds for several years, what if you were still here? what if it didn't happen? what if all our plans came into reality? until I'd realized that I'm making it harder to move on.. I'll stop...
I miss you.. and if God would give me a minute to hug you, I'd ask an extension.. hahah! just kidding.. I know I can never bargain with God... I'd took that opportunity to feel your warmth once again and refresh myself of our moments together.. Your kisses every morning, your mustache that tickles me, your voice when you sing "You Needed Me", your hugs, your smell, your whole being.
I thank God for the people around me that made it easy for me to accept what happen, its not an easy process. For five years, I've been living in a trance, pretending your around and jailing myself in denial. You can't blame me, you left without a word, without a clue...
What happened is meant to happen, it is based on God's perfect plan for you, for me, for the whole family. Pa, I can say I'm stronger now, I am more loving to the whole family, I know your smiling at me.. I know your proud...I love you so much Papa..
I am on a perfect place that God wants me to be right now. I don't have a reason to be angry with God whenever he takes away something from me, besides its HIS'. Everything is according to God's perfect plan for us.. People come on go, but the touch they left in our hearts will remain forever. Their part of our being and that will never change.
You are who you are for a reason.
You are part of an intense plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what He wanted to make.
The parents you have are the ones He chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's Plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.
No, the trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God.
-Russell Kelfer
- An excerpt from Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren
