ITS COMPLICATED...

When to love? How to love? Who to love? 

Love is a broad issue with different meaning. Your definition of love may not be in line with mine. Others may have their own too. 

But where do love meet between the realm of heart and mind? Where does mutuality lies? Where do beating become one? 

From one state of thinking, you may thought ive never been to this since these questions arise. I dont know. Maybe there are different approaches in different ppl we love. Like what i said, we have our own unique definition of what love is. One approach may not be applicable to another. While it effectively make its worth into one. ITS COMPLICATED. Maybe thats where it lies. When definition and emotion collides. 

Im pretty sure once in our life we have been a victim of love's tricks. Somehow it confused us, left us bothered or bring us sleepless nights brought by love's diverse meaning. But isnt it wonderful how love meet at the center of everything despite the complications and diversity of what it meant? How about the miracle of two ppl from different parts of the world become one in love? 

Know why? 

Because ever since the creation of the world, God demonstrated LOVE for us...


and it will be until the world perished...

YOU, My Father

You are a cup of coffee in a cold Sunday morning
In a trembling heart, warmth and comfort you bring
You are the cerulean sky after the heaven cried
New hope for tomorrow assured, with You by my side…

You are my best friend, I can rely on forever
A half of slipper, can’t walk unless in pair
You’re my adviser when heart is confused and weary
Hug me tight to take away anxiety…

You are my Father that provides for me
A tough wall I can lean for eternity
You are the source of my strength everyday
That makes me survive in every way…

You are my knight in shining armor
In my life’s voyage, you are my anchor
You are the clouds swathing the firmament
That catches me during falling moments…

You are my Savior that saves me from death
My Redeemer that sustains breath
In my heart you lead, you reign
God Almighty, you take away the pain…

Presently I’ll walk, not alone anymore
Cause there’s already two sets of footprints in the seashore
My God will accompany me up to the finished line
His love is unending; no one can ever define…

-charmz’09
07/14/09
4:22pm

Remembering Papa

Its been 11 years and two days since you left, I can't even imagine its been over a decade... Time runs so fast and so did our lives. If you'll ask us how are we, were fine, I know that's what you want anyways. I often think of the thought of living a life a with you, I know for sure it'll be wonderful.. we will be happy. There are many what ifs that dwell in my minds for several years, what if you were still here? what if it didn't happen? what if all our plans came into reality? until I'd realized that I'm making it harder to move on.. I'll stop...

I miss you.. and if God would give me a minute to hug you, I'd ask an extension.. hahah! just kidding.. I know I can never bargain  with God... I'd took that opportunity to feel your warmth once again and refresh myself of our moments together.. Your kisses every morning, your mustache that tickles me, your voice when you sing "You Needed Me", your hugs, your smell, your whole being.

I thank God for the people around me that made it easy for me to accept what happen, its not an easy process. For five years, I've been living in a trance, pretending your around and jailing myself in denial. You can't blame me, you left without a word, without a clue...

What happened is meant to happen, it is based on God's perfect plan for you, for me, for the whole family. Pa, I can say I'm stronger now, I am more loving to the whole family, I know your smiling at me.. I know your proud...I love you so much Papa..

I am on a perfect place that God wants me to be right now. I don't have a reason to be angry with God whenever he takes away something from me, besides its HIS'. Everything is according to God's perfect plan for us.. People come on go, but the touch they left in our hearts will remain forever. Their part of our being and that will never change.



You are who you are for a reason.
You are part of an intense plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what He wanted to make.

The parents you have are the ones He chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's Plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, the trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into His likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God.

-Russell Kelfer 

- An excerpt from Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren

The Journal

It was cold.. Moderate rain pours outside. It was consistent since yesterday, long enough to make me enjoy the cool breeze and the gentle warmth of my blanket wrapped around me while love songs on my ipod are playing softly on my ear. One lazy day, I thought. I decided to move around a little and just check out some old stuff. I stumble on a familiar journal and gently turn its pages one by one...

August 25, 2010

I had always been afraid of death.. anything bout death.. Just the thought of it gives me fear and chills, that I would suddenly get rid of it from my mind. Then I thought, what if tomorrow I'll die? Am I ready enough? I cannot even find answers.. until it fades away from my senses...

Lately, I've been asking myself the same question. Maybe this is due to sudden circumstances happening in the country..accidents left and right, death all around.. Am I ready enough? I tried to look for the fear I felt before whenever that question crossed through my mind... it vanished. I smiled and said to myself,  "With Jesus in my heart, as my Lord and Savior, with the relationship  with God and the gift of the Holy Spirit.. I would be ready enough to die.. with joy in my heart.. Fear was gone.. I only fear the Lord. Whatever happens in my life, I need not fear anything for I know the Lord is with me throughout my journey. I love you Lord. I am Yours and Yours forever.

 - Charm


Tears fell. Chills creep within my bone. Not because its cold but because I was totally blown away. It was just an excerpt from my Purpose Driven Life Journal. Filled with love, strengthen by faith, restored with hope. I can feel every single word written came from my heart. That very moment I realized that was slowly stepping away from the path God wants me to take. Tears poured.

God used my journal to make me remember how our relationship was. How we talk, how we spend time.. It breaks my heart. It breaks His heart. I'm sorry Lord.. :'( Many things happened since I last wrote to my journal. Things that test me, there were times I passed, and times I failed.. times I hold on and times I let go.. I can't say that I am strong enough to surpassed all of these but I thanked God for His grace and mercy. I am hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. (2 Cor.4:8-9 NIV) Though, I honestly admit that I slid and stumble before God, also through Him I will stand up and face the world... I am coming back to my Lord...

Now, with a whole new realization, with a strength that come from Above, with a steadfast heart, I will nudge the wheel of life and take a path with my Jesus. Directed by faith, guided by love and protected by the my Lord's most precious blood, I am ready to venture a new chapter in my walk with Him.. And as long as there are lives to be written, hope to be restored and faith to strengthen, the journal's page will continue to be turned...

Trusting God's Will

When everything seems to be so right, when you think things are falling unto their right places, when you are at peak with your happiness, when God tells you to let go.. Will you listen?

We thank God when were happy, we worship Him when were at top, we generously give when were abundant, but when everything was taken away from us.. Will we act like Job?

Its easy to tell people that we are Christians yet its hard to live like a genuine one..

I have seen God and His mysterious ways..too mysterious that I cant even describe nor explain. He has been consistently rescuing me from an abrupt fall.. Even if Im not faithful, He still remains to be one..

Today, He rescued me again with a willing heart and unfailing love.. Even if I turned away from Him.. He loves me.. He loves us..

I am hurt, yes hurt.. Because God rescued me from my sweetest downfall.. Someone I could fall for everyday of my life.. Someone i love...

Yes, i love him.. But my love for God is far beyond my love for him.. I have to let him go and trust God's will...

I dont have any reason to lock myself up or to cry all night because I know that My Lord has something better in store for me.. He loves me... <3



- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

♥♥♥Happiness ♥♥♥

This photo was taken while we were at Rizal Park. After the extravagant dancing fountain experience with my family, we decided to head home since its already late.. I am taking pictures of the place when I passed by this lil kid who seems to be so amazed with a medium sized spotlight that gives luminance to a hero's statue. He had this grass in his right hand and plays with the light as if discovering an amazing wonder in that lil thing.. I stopped and took a shot of the kid that somehow taught me a lesson during that night... " Happiness is never dependent on how extravagant that thing maybe, happiness is a state of being contented and enjoys every bit of life.. it is a choice not a chance.." ♥

God's Message to all the Girls.. :)

Five years ago, I received a forwarded text message from a friend, I was really touched that it struck me within and found myself memorizing it...I told myself that I'm gonna live with it...

Now, after the ups and downs that I've been through, I encountered this message again. I went back years ago and examine myself if I have done what I promise 5yrs ago... Unfortunately,I failed..

I'm 21 yet my life's experiences are far beyond the usual 21-year-old girl. I've been into different relationships and taken love superficially. Though I may say every relationship is a learning experience to me, it will still leave me hurting...

To have a right relationship with someone, one must have a right relationship with God first. It was like a building on a firm foundation... The stronger the foundation is, the better building you'll have...

So gurls, Set your standards high. Place boundaries and don't let anybody cross over it. We are princesses in the Kingdom of God and no one has the right to make us cry! :)


Here is God's message to us.. I know you have read this several times but let it not be limited to our eyes. Keep it inside your heart and live with it... :)


No man can ever claim you 
unless he claims you from Me.
I reserve a man for you.
Who has My heart and loves Me
even MORE THAN he will love you.
I won't give you unless he ask you from Me.
Soon, you will know him
I have a PERFECT TIME.
Your My PRINCESS, My daughter
Let no prince claim you
Unless he asks you from My hand
For I am your FATHER, the KING of KINGS
YOU, My Princess
is WORTH LOVING...


-Your Father,
  GOD

Invitation to the Thirsty (Isaiah 55)

INVITATION
God is calling us right now to come nearer to Him, He will quench our thirst and will feed us. While reading this, I was reminded of Ptr.Grace preaching @ EN2010. The banquet of the Lord is prepared and waiting for us to sit down and eat. He wont be at any cost, its ABSOLUTELY FREE! Praise the Lord!

PROMISES
Our God is indeed good that He offers not only food, along with that is His promises, promises that only He can fulfill ( Is.55:3-5, 12-13). he made an everlasting covenant to us. He promised us the faithful love that He promised to David. He will send us to nations! nations that we dont even know, places that beyond our knowledge.In Isaiah 55:12-13, He promised, "You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." (Hallelujah!)

FORGIVENESS
Truly, our God is a God of forgiveness and second chances. He said that He will freely pardon those people who turned away from evil and turn to Him (Is.55:6-7)

SOVEREIGNTY
God has the highest standards, standards that even the most powerful human on earth today will be matchless. That is why his ways are also higher than our ways (Is.55:8-9) Trust in the Lord. God has a way of turning things around for you. For He can do ANYTHING. Things that is unfathomable by human knowledge.

POWER OF GOD'S WORD
God's word is sharper than any double edged sword (Heb.4:12). It will penetrate in our inner being. In Isaiah 55:10-11, He said,

10 As the rain and the snow
come down from heaven,
and do not return to it
without watering the earth
and making it bud and flourish,
so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater,

11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth:
It will not return to me empty,
but will accomplish what I desire
and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.


Lastly, God says in Isaiah 55:2, "Listen to me, and eat what is good, and your soul will delight in the richest of fare. Give ear and come to me; hear me, that your soul may live."

God gives eternal blessing to all who accept his invitation.

Listen.

Respond and

Eat what is good.

Eat the Word of God.

Be Blessed everybody! :D


- Charm <3

Hold me tight...

I don't wanna go back to place I used to be
I don't wanna go back to the darkness that swallowed me
I don't wanna go back to the way without your light
I don't wanna go back, Jesus, hold me tight..

I was once was swamped in the worldly trend
I was once was drowned in the sea of sins
I was once filled with bitterness and anger
You came Jesus and rescued me

Had been to life of pure selfish pleasures
Had been to peak of loneliness and emptiness
Oh Jesus your love changed me
Your mercy and goodness surrounds me

You, my Father

You are a cup of coffee in a cold Sunday morning
In a trembling heart, warmth and comfort you bring
You are the cerulean sky after the heaven cried
New hope for tomorrow assured, with You by my side…

You are my best friend, I can rely on forever
A half of slipper, can’t walk unless in pair
You’re my adviser when heart is confused and weary
Hug me tight to take away anxiety…

You are my Father that provides for me
A tough wall I can lean for eternity
You are the source of my strength everyday
That makes me survive in every way…

You are my knight in shining armor
In my life’s voyage, you are my anchor
You are the clouds swathing the firmament
That catches me during falling moments…

You are my Savior that saves me from death
My Redeemer that sustains breath
In my heart you lead, you reign
God Almighty, you take away the pain…

Presently I’ll walk, not alone anymore
Cause there’s already two sets of footprints in the seashore
My God will accompany me up to the finished line
His love is unending; no one can ever define…

-charmz’09
07/14/09
4:22pm

My Hope

”History repeats itself”, a friend told me, if that’s so, does that mean that I will always be loser in love? That I will always be neglected and rejected? That it’s really impossible that I could be their first priority?

In my age, I had passed through different kinds of relationship, I need not to mention it, and maybe because it wasn’t really right from the beginning it ended bitterly. Maybe, I really should’ve make it right from the start, maybe I should’ve never done that, maybe I should’ve not tolerated that… so many regrets, regrets that will just trapped me to my old self, regrets that haunts me up to this moment. I promised to myself that if I fall in love again, I will make it right from the very start so that everything will run smooth, we might have problems or misunderstanding but we can solve it. We will be happy in our first date, while watching the sunset in the bay, so simple yet romantic. We will celebrate our anniversaries walking in the seashore, holding hands, forgetting all the pains of yesterday, overlooking the worries of tomorrow. We will plan the best wedding, as everyone witness our vows to each other they will testify our never- ending love. We will build our dreams together, our family, the number of children, the location of our future house, our dream vacation, our years together, our process of aging, our lives, our death…

“History repeats itself”, a friend told me, “but it might have a different ending”, she continued. Maybe she’s right I may have the same cases of love before but who knows, this time, it will be the end of a recurring history…

-charmz02/08/09
11:09pm

My New Perspective

“History repeats itself,” a friend told me, I guess she’s right, after almost two months of joys and struggles, here I am trapped again in the reccuring history of my past…

I thought its love, I thought that we’ll make it through the storm, I thought he is my answered prayer, its just what I thought… I never regret anything, cause I learned a lot from this two- month love test. I did things that I never thought I am capable of. I conclude a lot of things and proven it. Well I can say that I did everything to fight for this but there are things that was not really meant, and it includes us… No bitterness, no hatred, no guilt feelings, these I promise you… Why should I? Its not my loss, well, Im not saying that its his loss, its just that I never lost anything, instead, I gain… I gain a lot…

I never lose pride while flagging it down, instead I gain strength while doing it. I never lose myself during my darkest days instead I gain self esteem to stand on my own. I never lose control on my emotions infact I learned how to drive it. I never lose someone when I lost him, infact I have more than enough now, now that I know who are really true in this world of lies, who are with you in your ups and downs, who are your shoulders when you cry… my family, my friends, my Lord…

Thank you for the memories, it will be always treasured, for the tears that are converted to strengths, for the pain that serves as challenges…Thanks to you for making me better and deserving to the person that I’m really meant with…

“ History repeats itself” a friend told me, I don’t know how long will this history be repeating itself, I don’t know how much pain will it bring, how much tears will I shed, how much struggles will I face, all I know is every time the clock ticks, everytime the sun rises and sets, everytime that this history repeats, there will always be a room for innovation…

-charmz 04/14/09
11:55pm

In Love with You...

Golden rays of sun kissed my skin in a promising Sunday morning

Thoughts of You never fail to wake me up even before my eyes starts to open

Smiles are apparent; I just woke up yet beginning to live in a trance again…

Maybe I’m falling in love…

Getting you out of my mind may mean taking my own life

Like a vein without a blood; like a body without a soul

Unlike water that quenches thirst, I can’t get enough of you…

I am surely falling in love…

Spending time with you is an endless moment

As infinite as east and west; as vast as the cerulean firmament

Your voice is more than the angel’s wings that heals every pain and wrath

I am in love…

You promised the best to me though I am not worthy

At your feet I will lay, and follow your footsteps

In the sand, it may be washed yet in my heart forever it’ll last

Yes! I am in love…

In my worst and darkest days, there your light will outshine the most

Amidst raging storm, you are the eye in which I found peace and serenity

You carry me at your back, in the scarcity of my strength and vitality

No wonder, I am in love…

I am in love with the Savior that brings salvation to nations

Deeply in love with the healer that restores every soul

I will worship the Prince that leads peace and joy

I am absolutely in love …

So precious blood was shed for me at the Calvary

Scorning the shame of the cross and giving your all to me

I can’t find any ways not to love you, to worship or to honor you

I love you…

Golden rays of sun kissed my skin in a promising Sunday morning

Thoughts of You never fail to wake me up even before my eyes starts to open

Smiles are apparent; I just woke up yet beginning to live in a trance once more…

I will fall in love with you Jesus over and over again…

-02/13/11

3:40am